Moving on I guess

So once again Brandon has pushed the date he's coming back. Now he has promised his daughter that he'll be back by her birthday. That is July 23, or something right in there. I just want to call her and tell her not to get her hopes up; he'll change it again. I told him last night that I'm not waiting even one more month, much less two. He's pulling the same thing he did last month. He is begging me to wait and swearing he'll be back. He just doesn't understand that I'm done. Every time something comes up to change it. They are all understandable excuses. But excuses nonetheless. I do understand them and why he's there. But it's always something and never me. He said he is going to call me on his lunch break today so I can yell at him. Seriously, though, I'm not mad, I'm done.

Saturday night A made a comment to some people that my life has been on hold for as long as she's known me. Ouch. Things like that only hurt so much because they are so true. I've been waiting for the office to close so I can move on from here. I've been waiting for Brandon to come back so we can start a life together. I have a job interview tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed. And I told Brandon last night that as much as I do love him, I just can't wait anymore. Last but not least, A is putting the condo back on the market today. So, I might die a lonely old maid, but this is what I need to do right now. One of my most used quotes is from Some Kind of Wonderful, “I’d rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong.” I’m not with Brandon for wrong reasons. I do love him very much. I just don’t feel like I’m actually with him or ever really will be.