F**k You very much, Have a nice day!

So A and I went over to my aunt and uncles for dinner Saturday before we hit the Stampede. She hadn't met my aunt yet and they had a few more friends and family members over. It was supposed to be a nice dinner and for the most part it was. Here were the 3 draw backs... 1) My cousin A was is in a cranky mood and cranky 9 year olds can be a handful, 2) I'm still pissed at the world, and 3) one the friends M called A a trollup and a hoar. I always tease her for dating the 3 guys she is and ask how her entourage is doing. She constantly feels bad about dating 3 guys at once. I tell her that as long as she's honest with everyone then she's fine. They got brought up at this dinner and yes he called her those delicious words. Well, I'm already not the happiest and went off. She is NOT!
Then we have the Stampede. One of my very distant cousins K came with A and I. The 2 of them were determined to find me someone there. I just wanted to dance and have a good time. It was almost impossible with those two on me like that. Plus my mood made me just B****y. I'm still very angry. I feel hard, numb, uncaring, unfeeling, and really pissed off. This mess with B has screwed me up. I'm not me. I don't even know who the hell me is anymore. I don't know what I want, I have no dreams, hopes, or feelings left about any of it. I've shut down. I feel so empty right now. I feel like I need to let it all out, but nothing will come. There are no tears to fall. I don't give a damn about anything anymore. I'm through.
I can't stand to listen to myself whine and complain anymore. I have to find a way out of this. I don't know how to though.
Sorry, I know the last couple of posts have been nothing but b****, b****, b****. I'm tired of that too.