Forget Mars and Venus
Want to know what never ceases to amaze me? It's exactly how different men and women minds work. I hate the whole Mars and Venus aspect. Ask a woman and she'll say that she's easy to understand. Ask a man he'll tell you how simple they are. Truth is we're all human and no 2 are the same. Here's a little of the generics I've learned in my 32 years of shit and sugar.
I have learned over the years that men don't mean things they say the way we hear them and vice versa. Women are much more emotional and read deeper into everything. When a guy says something, it means just that. No hidden agenda. It's also usually not the personal attack we take it for. Unless they say "you" then it's not about "you". And don't take offense if "you" aren't included. It's not that they're excluding "you"; they're usually just making a general statement. In which, most cases, "you" don't want to be included anyway.
Here's the other big one. When women have something important to say, we say it. Problem being we also expect an immediate response to it. It was important to us and in return we want it to be important to them. Honey, you have to give it time to sink in. When we say to them "we need to talk" their brain automatically shuts off. All they can think is "fuck, what now".
My advice is come up with a different approach to the conversation. Don't make them feel trapped, and don't do it in the middle of a game. Then you need to walk away. Give it time to register. Be happy that at least you got it off your chest. If you don't expect a response you're more likely to get one. The less pressure they feel the easier it will be. Now, they are individuals so remember that it may take some longer than others to respond. It took BR about a month.
Really though that's just my experience. As humans we've all been burned. In response we all group our hate towards one gender. Stereotypes don't always work. As a woman, I know how different we are. Men know the same thing. If you can learn to be more open minded you would have a better chance at finding that one. Approach a new relationship like you would a new friend (which you should be anyway). There's usually less typecasting there because there's less pressure.
Let 2007 be the year of less judgment. Open your mind. Don't the judge the book. See where that takes you
I have learned over the years that men don't mean things they say the way we hear them and vice versa. Women are much more emotional and read deeper into everything. When a guy says something, it means just that. No hidden agenda. It's also usually not the personal attack we take it for. Unless they say "you" then it's not about "you". And don't take offense if "you" aren't included. It's not that they're excluding "you"; they're usually just making a general statement. In which, most cases, "you" don't want to be included anyway.
Here's the other big one. When women have something important to say, we say it. Problem being we also expect an immediate response to it. It was important to us and in return we want it to be important to them. Honey, you have to give it time to sink in. When we say to them "we need to talk" their brain automatically shuts off. All they can think is "fuck, what now".
My advice is come up with a different approach to the conversation. Don't make them feel trapped, and don't do it in the middle of a game. Then you need to walk away. Give it time to register. Be happy that at least you got it off your chest. If you don't expect a response you're more likely to get one. The less pressure they feel the easier it will be. Now, they are individuals so remember that it may take some longer than others to respond. It took BR about a month.
Really though that's just my experience. As humans we've all been burned. In response we all group our hate towards one gender. Stereotypes don't always work. As a woman, I know how different we are. Men know the same thing. If you can learn to be more open minded you would have a better chance at finding that one. Approach a new relationship like you would a new friend (which you should be anyway). There's usually less typecasting there because there's less pressure.
Let 2007 be the year of less judgment. Open your mind. Don't the judge the book. See where that takes you
posted by alwaysd | 11:48 AM
1 Comments:
I couldn't agree more!
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