Maxine's Living Will

I, MAXINE , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive
indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my
fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade
biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested
in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and
I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Sex

Glass of wine

Chocolate

Margarita

Chocolate

Fried Chicken

Chocolate

Pizza ~ extra cheese

Chocolate

Cup of coffee

Chocolate

Sex

Chocolate

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed
person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call
it a day.