Firsts

This was a weekend of firsts for me and BR. It was the first time he's seen me drunk, I finally cooked for him for the first time, and few more things this weekend. My roommate is very upset that he'll be stealing me away. She and I get along very well. Now if I could just get this job thing taken care of. At this point though even that doesn't get to me anymore. It all goes away when I'm with him. Life is just a beautiful thing. He makes my heart smile. I did have a little bit of a panic attack last night. Things run through my head 24/7 and I almost blurted out "don't ever leave". It didn't come out, but the fact that I thought it has me a bit rattled. Ever heard the question "would you rather be loved or afraid of?" The answer is " I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." Well, last night it hit me and I am afraid of how much I love him.