!@#$%^&*?~!*&^%$#@:?!

I am actually shaking right now. I've had a really shitty weekend and the week isn't shaping up. Then this morning I come in and have an email from S! It's my own damn fault really. I left a comment on his blog with my signature for this blog. I thought I was safe. There is no mention of him on the main page. He went into my archives though. Who goes into the archives?! I don't go into the archives! Anyway, he found the letter and probably the other posts that mentioned him. Of coarse he figured out it was me. The email was very nice. I mean really nice. More than I deserve. To be honest it was what I asked for in the letter. That letter though was one of thoose you write and NEVER send! It was just to get it off my chest. I can't fucking stop crying. I feel like I'm being pulled apart one piece at a time. Inch by inch, slowly and very painfully, this world is going to distroy me.
Ok, I'm being very over dramatic. It's just that S finding that letter leaves me a little too vulnerable. Like I said I'm already feeling shitty. I might as well be standing nude, center ice in the pepsi center.
S, if you read this. FUCK, I don't know! Thank you for the email. I can't say that I didn't mean what I said, I did. I wish you nothing but the best out of life. You deserve it. I haven't had the experiences in life that you have. I am learning my lessons the hard way, and have been through a version of what hell is like. If you wish to stay in touch, I'd like that. If not, I completely understand. The past being just that. Just know that you can reach me anytime, anywhere and I'll be there.