It's just me

If anyone out there really reads this blog they probably think my emotional levels are rather extreme. And they are. Honestly though it's just who I am. I wish I didn't feel everything so deeply, but I do. I am an extremely passionate person. I feel everything. For me it's very physical. I feel my highs and lows physically. I have a very deep empathy for others. I can't just meet someone. The second an introduction comes across they are with me forever. I care about them, and they have a place in my heart. I can't help it, it's just the way it is. Once again it's something my body reacts to. I feel it in my blood sometimes. It maybe hard to explain, but it actually runs cold. I feel things in my arms, my neck, my shoulders, my stomach. There is nothing that just passes by me. It always hits me like a mack truck. What others hear or see, I feel. When all of this does hit me I don't know what to do with it. Hence the tail spin I've been in for the past few days. I have got to learn how to handle this better.
I'm not discrediting my letter to S. By no means do I want you to think that I feel the same about everyone that I come into contact with. Yes, I keep everyone I meet close to my heart. Everyone touches me differently though. There are some (a very select few), that I have truely loved. Out of thoose few, you are the only one that I wrote about.
I have another date set up for tomorrow. Not really excited about any of them anymore. My self esteem has taken some blows lately that my body can't handle. Who can blame them? I am one hell of a basketcase. And I have a life without any of them in it. I have people that love and except me for who I am. I'm tired of trying to sell myself. Either you like me or you don't. Frankly my dear...