Those that forget

Are doomed to repeat. The line is a very fine one to walk. The trick is to not be cynical and jaded, but you must also not be stupid about it next time around. I used to always believe the best and sometimes a bit naively. Just ask B. He always lied to me and I bought it all. Now I find myself not believing anything. I've gone to the dark side :). Not really all that funny though. I hate the way my mind works now. It's untrusting, insecure, judgemental, cynical, jaded, pessimistic, and flat out bitchy. (Did I miss anything?) I want me back. I want to be able to take a complement without looking for the alterior motive. When BR is out late I want to be able to believe him and not over react when plans fall apart. I want that healthy balance of trust without naivity. I know I'm asking a lot, but it's only of me. I've made it this far. What's a couple more feet?