Thanks for the memories

Our family consisted of 4 girls, a set of parents with a healthy marriage, and numerous pets over the years. Tradition was big.

When we were young mom and dad did the Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. It was their day together, and they were gone all day.

Some time before Christmas we would go on a "color drive" and look at all the lights. On the drive we sang Christmas carols and took turns picking a song, youngest to oldest. My baby sister didn’t know many to begin with and she picked the ABC's every time for a couple of years. My mom's favorite is "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear". As kids we didn't know the words to that one right away, but we tried.

Decorating started with the search for the perfect tree. We all went out as a family to pick it out. The next day we decorated it. Dad helped with the lights, but didn't do much after that. We got to pick 5 ornaments out of our own stuff to put on the tree. Grandma sent us a new one every year until we were 18. Mom did the rest. Including the rest of the house.

Being Catholic we had to have a nativity scene. Mary and Joseph started out at one end of the living room and every day we took turns moving them closer to the manger. Baby Jesus miraculously appeared at the manger with them when we got home after mass Christmas Eve. The three wise men were the same and didn't get to the manger until Epiphany after being moved around the living room.

We sang Happy Birthday to Baby Jesus and went to put on our pj's. Every other year Santa came early and we had new pj's and slippers waiting for us on our beds. Dad got his coffee and we sat down to open presents. They were opened one at a time, youngest to oldest. Mom made a list of who got what from whom for the thank you cards. Then we decided on a time to get up the next morning to see what else Santa left.

In the morning we had to wait for everyone to get up before we could go downstairs. Dad would sneak down and make sure Santa had been there, and after the ok it was a free for all. My sister and I would usually have snuck down already and checked it all out. It helped us learn which stairs squeaked and where for sneaking in and out when we were older. Hehehe.

Then we had our family breakfast and wrote our thank you cards. That had to done before we could play with our toys. From there it was a quite day. My dad's not a big football fan, but he might have watched some after we were done with the parade. We had Christmas dinner, but no real tradition there.

All in all, very good memories. I am very fortunate to have the family I do. I wouldn't change a thing. I wish you all much love, peace, and happy memories.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. ~Hamilton Wright Mabie

George lassoes the moon

I know that I've been whiney all week and you're probably very tired of hearing it. Thing is, I don't care. This is my place to get things off my chest.
I just read one of my blog subscriptions and there was a part about staying in bad relationships. Granted I only read the first page of comments, still no one brought up the real reason behind it. Some people stay because they are too scared to be alone. One of my favorite quotes comes from Some Kind of Wonderful. "I would rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than alone for the right. " I don't agree with it, but some people do feel that way.
Anyway, I want to end on an up note this week. I heard for a long time when looking for something make a list. Make it exactly what you want in your search. This is this the list I compiled for the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Honesty. Compassion. Loyalty. Respect. Intelligence. Stability. Empathy. Romantic. Sense of humor. Open minded. Courteous. Loving. Kind. Caring. Communications skills. Vulnerable. Strong. Tender. These are for himself, those in his life, and the world around him. I want him to have spirit and a love of life. I want him to have a huge heart and know how to use it. I want him to pay attention to the little things. Of coarse the basics of just having things in common helps. Such as goals, future wants, and values. I'm not stupid enough to expect likes and dislikes to be all the same, but once again a few in common help. I want him to be able to smile at my quirks. I want to bring out the very best in him. I want him to love me for me, good, bad, and ugly.
From my world of make believe. I want him to want to offer me the world. He doesn't have to give it to me, or even be able to, but just to want to. I want to be worth the fight. This has been a long time wish. They all make it look so easy to walk away from me. At the end of the day, I want him to believe that I hung the moon and stars.

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
~ Sam Keen

50 things all women should learn

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.
3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that ****. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That **** is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.
7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the **** that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.
8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that ****, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his **** instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.
10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.
11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some *****. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that **** if you want him to spend any time down there.
14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.
16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.
18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
21. Being too much of a ***** to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his **** in your butt.
22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.
23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.
25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your ****, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your choice to stop, but don't look all ****ing surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big ****ing deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.
33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty **** you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.
43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.
47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really ****ing you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

A little vodka and orange juice

Every relationship will hit rough patches. BR and I have had a few and made it through them. We've passed the 6 month mark and everything seemed good, but now things seem to have gotten heavy. It's not that I don't think we can make it through this also, but it's different.
On his last visit we heard from numerous people that we should get married. I've also been told that I can't use his age an excuse anymore. I was informed that I could be dating a 40 year old that wasn't ready for things in life that I am, and it's very true. Problem being that I am ready for a family. Huge weight to put on any new relationship, and yes, I consider 6 months still new. He and I talked about it, and yes, he does want to marry me, in 3 years. That puts me at 35 going on 36. You know that line about the biological clock?!
I don't want to put any more pressure on him right now, but I really don't want to wait 3 years, but I also don't want to be with anyone else. Am I making any sense? He got enough grief about it from everyone on his visit that he's pulled way back. He has "things" that he wants to take care of first. It's not as though he doesn't love me, he does, and that’s got nothing to with it. He still calls and he still tells me he loves me. But it's like he's going through the motions because he feels like he has to. It's very different. I've told him that I feel the distance this time and he blew it off, but it's there.
So, I have to relieve the pressure on him. I was told that the stress on our relationship now can't get any worse, and I have to do something. I was told to break up with him. I don't want that. I don't want to loose him. I told him a long time ago that I want to be worth the fight. I feel if I do something that drastic that he's not going to realize what he lost, he'll be gone from my life forever. So once again, it's me making the sacrifice. Why is it always me doing the work? He won't have to give anything.
I'm so torn about all this that it's making me sick. I do love him with all my heart. I also want so much more that he can't give me. FUCK! I'm such a mess right now that I want to cry, but the tears won't come. As much as I want to be worth the fight, I don't want him doing something he's not ready for. That wouldn't fix anything either. I was told that he's ready to explode. He feels like a horse tied to a tree and trying so hard to break free. Something’s gotta give. Advice? Please don't give me the "if it's meant to be" line. Not everything in life can be put in God's hands. We have to make an effort too.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first. Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens] (1835-1910)

The Balcony is Open

To know me is to know Bond, James Bond. I went and saw Casino Royale finally and all I can say is, hmmm. My parents are big Bond fans and I grew up having them all at my fingertips. So I consider myself very well informed when comes to the movies. I'm the one that thinks Roger Moore was the best Bond and not Sean Connery. My favorite character was Jaws. As a little girl, my favorite movie was Moonraker. So here goes, for what it's worth, my first movie review.

Let's start with the new actor, Daniel Craig. I can describe him in one word, Yum! Rumor has it that he's not as suave and debonair as the previous actors, true. When you look into those eyes, you don't give a damn. One scene in particular I will dream about forever. Then there is another scene where you can't help but wonder who edited the shot and made sure the outfits fit. Sorry Daniel, but there was serious camel toe, really it was bad. With that one scene aside, I give Daniel two thumbs up. He's a fine actor and does Bond more than justice. I won't give away which scenes had what in case you haven't seen it yet.

Now the movie. The movie on it's own merit is good. For me it's one of those when you think it's over and you're ready to go, and there's another scene, and then another. Kinda like the last Lords of the Rings. Anyway. I have issues with the fact that it's supposed to be the first Bond and at that point there are certain inconsistencies in the movie. The opening scene he doesn't even have his license yet. So this is truely the beginning of 007. Tell me how Judy Dench plays the M that gives Bond his license and with Pierce Brosnan in Tommorow Never Dies has just taken office as M? Thank for not using Q in this movie. Once again it would have been wrong. You can't introduce a new character in a movie that is supposed to be older than the one your making with same character. Confusing yet? I really wish that they would quit introducing Felix as a new guy to Bond when he's been in how many of them. That is an inconsistency in many of the Bond movies though. My other issue was the technology used. I understand that Bond has always been ahead of the times with technology, but. Keep in mind how far ahead the first Bond movie was and try not to out do it in what is the first Bond story. Am I making any sense? I had heard that there was more character development and less action. Very true, you learn what it takes to get the license, how he comes up with the vodka martini, and that M actually stands for something. Still, he didn't have his quick wit and he was a bit too emotional. If I hear one more movie review that says this is the only one where Bond falls in love I will deck someone! Bond actaully gets married in one of them people! Anyone remember On Her Majesty's Secret Service?!

For me the movie as a whole is good, but it's not Bond. That said really, go see it, it's a good movie. It's just not Bond. I can't wait to see more of Daniel on the big screen though, so bring it on. How long is his contract with Bond?