The next step

So I met M (a new one of coarse) Friday for coffee. Really nice guy, much better than B. Cuter than his picture. No chemistry. I had to ask all the questions. He talked, but only after I pulled teeth.:) I liked this one. Oh well. I'm currently talking to 3 more. Two of which are here and believe it or not one is in New Mexico. I'm soooo not doing the long distance thing, and NO I'm not that desperate either. He seems like a nice guy and we've agreed to just be friends and chat. That, I can do. This initial only thing I use in the blog though is getting tricky. All 3 guys first initial is J. So here's the way these will be kept distinct #1 is just J, #2 is JT, and #3 in NM is JNM. J and I have been chatting for about a week, but I think there's not much interest on his behalf. Too bad he's kinda cute. I didn't see JT's pic until this morning because he doesn't have it on match. Some issue with posting it online. Whatever. I never should have answered because there is no attraction. I want people to look beneath my photo though, so I have to do the same. JNM, where do I begin? I answered his email because he wrote me an extensive one to start. He wants to be friends first. Considering my instability at this juncture it's probably a wise thing with all of them. So Ok.
As for the rest of my life. P told me that metaphysically speaking I need to make room for the changes I want in my life. Meaning that if I want a new job, I need to talk to Dr. If I want new clothes, I need to donate the ones I don't wear. To find the right relationship, I need to get rid of what I've been holding on to. So here's what I've done. Last night I went through THE BOX. I threw out wedding cards, engagement cards, anniversary cards, anything pertaining to our wedding or his family (that isn't in storage of coarse). I deleted all email from him and S. I also deleted the text messages I'd been saving. I haven't deleted his phone number just yet and I kept the cards and notes he wrote me. I can't just throw that out. Plan is to mail it to him. He can throw it out. I know he will. I can't. I cried for a good 20 minutes. I'm actually suprised it only lasted that long. I'm pretty proud of myself, for me it was a huge step forward. Next is the conversation I have been putting off forever. I have to talk to Dr. As A put it this weekened, there never will be a good time. I'll meditate and pray on it tonight. After that I need to go through my closet and dressers and pull anything I haven't worn in over a year for goodwill. I donated my old glasses this morning. Finally is the trip to storage to get rid of whatever I don't need. Including the wedding trunk.
Last night wasn't easy, but it also didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Proof that it's the right time, that I'm ready. For me it's definatley been baby steps. But it's time for new beginnings. New friendships, new relationships, new opportunities, new possibilities. Now I've got room for all that and then some.