And the next contestant is...

So I went out with SA Saturday night. Wow. He really is a very nice guy. We had a great time and are going out again Tuesday night. Is this the one? Hell, if I know. I don't think so though. I'm feeling very torn with him. He is very nice and we get along fabulously. There are just a few things that don't sit right. I know that I'm judgemental, but he takes the cake. He also seems fairly materialistic. It's till too early to judge. It's too early for a lot of things that happened Saturday night. I'm supposed to have dinner with JT Friday night, but I'm gonna cancel that one. After talking to him on the phone I was bored off my ass and he wouldn't shut up. It's ok though. That's why I like to chat at least once before meeting. You can tell so much more on the phone than by email. The tone of voice, the infliction, the voice it's self is all there to hear instead of inferring what you think they mean.
I told A last night that I think I'm being self destructive. That's with my job, not my other relationships. It does seem to rub off though. I can't seem to face Dr and tell him what I need to, so instead I'm doing things that I know will get me fired. SO NOT COOL! This whole mess is making me physically ill. Something's gonna happen and I just want it to be over now. One way or the other.