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What's the definition of insanity? That's right doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. I need to trust my gut more often. When something doesn't seem right then usually it's not. I'm talking about SA. I'm going to cancel dinner tonight. My gut is telling me that something isn't right. I like him. He's nice. I never should have slept with him. He's already annoying me in many little ways. I am putting my foot down now. I know it shouldn't happen so why does it? NO MORE SEX ON THE FIRST DATE! Or second, possibly even third. I know it's all my fault. These feelings that is. I want to take it slow. I want to get to know someone first. My sleeping with someone on the first date ruins that for me. Both times though I was drunk and horney. I know, no excuse. Problem is that both times the sex sucked. This just isn't the kind of relationship I want. I want someone to love me for me, not what's in between the sheets. I want to be excited about the next date not dreading it. I'm dreading having to even talk to SA now. Yup, I've ruined it before it even got started. I think JNM is the safest bet right now, because he's to far away for me to sleep with. Honestly, I'm not a slut. I sure do feel like it though. I average a hundred hits a week and so far nothing has come close to me saying "I think this could be it." Very discouraging. I really want to fall in love. Am I asking to much? Probably not, but I'm definatly going about the wrong way. TTFN!