The greener grass

Thomas Edison is credited with having said: "Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work!"
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM
in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job experience"
contest.
Needless to say, she won.

"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week
I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at
work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you realize it's not so bad after all.
"Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of
year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful
temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan,
and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get
to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the
back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like
working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
"The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of
my dilemma over the communicator.
"His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the
surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of
the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I
got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

"Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

TGIF!!!

So things are edging their way back to normalcy with BR and I. After everything that went down last weekend it takes time. It's not as though we had a spat and then some makeup sex to take away the ouch. This was a sizeable disagreement. You work through a resolution, but then you're still kind of on eggshells for a day or two. He has also worked through some of his own issues this week. All the way around not a great week for us, but we made it through. No matter what was going on we still went to bed in eachothers arms and said I love you everyday. That's a kind of reassurance that you can't buy. It's the, yes we are having a disagreement, but that doesn't change my feelings for you. My parents used to tell me that all the time " I might not like what you're doing, but I will always love you." There is a certain secureness in those words that you can't touch. BR never had that growing up. He had nonexistent parents that left him to raise himself and his 2 sisters. Do I feel sometimes as though I'm being tested to see if I really will love him no matter what. Sure. One day at a time though and we are only becoming stronger.

Side note to Hopeless... I completely agree. Life would be very boring if "we all just got along". :)

Hurdles, Hoops, and Jumps

What a weekend. I told you Friday how things weren't that great with me and BR. Well, after work Friday they only continued to go down hill. We went up and down most of the weekend. By Sunday morning we pretty much settled back down, but damn. The issues came down to his insecurities and my wanting to be loved for who I am. He gets jealous very easily, and I'm not exactly a flirt, but I am friendly and outgoing. He and I couldn't come up with a middle ground for this one. On the gay rights we decided to have our views and just not discuss them with eachother. All I asked for on the other issue was to be loved for me. I felt as though he was calling me a bad person. He definately was making me feel bad for being friendly. We talked long and hard and did thinking on our own. Saturday afternoon I told him that I loved him and wasn't walking away. I had told him thousands of times before that I would never let him down and wasn't about to start now. That put the ball in his court. He wanted to step back and just take it one day at a time. Sounds good to me. Then he had to run off to work. Later that night I get a call and he wanted to come over and hold me. Ok. While we were laying there he informed me that he does love me for who I am and he doesn't want to loose me. That was just what I needed to hear. So that's where we're at. This Thursday we will have been together for 2 months. I'm glad to be doing all this early in the relationship. When it's early and you don't have so much invested it's easier to look at whether it's something you can live with or walk away from. No one ever said life would be easy. As a matter of fact my mom always informed me that it wasn't. I have said numerous times that I'm far from perfect and I don't want someone that is (or thinks they are). I do know for a tried and true fact to be careful what you wish for. You just may get it.

OMG!

So BR and I are at kind of an impass right now. We had a huge fight last night and it's not over yet. It all started with my stand on gay rights. I'm a firm believer that they are people too and they have just as much right to everything that I do. He is my polar opposite on this. So much so that he says it's one of his breaking points. In a relationship you have things that you can over look and deal with. He says this is not one of those for him. For him it could very well mean the end of us. I learned something last night that makes me understand where he's coming from a bit more, but I'm not changing my mind. I think it's complete and utter bullshit that I'm willing accept his stand on this, but he refuses to accept it as part of who I am. When I get pissed my mouth goes off. Last night was no exception. When he said that needed to think whether or not he could deal with this as a part of me, oh boy. I told him that if he was willing to give up on us over this then to go ahead and go. The man I am going to be with will love me completely for who I am, just as I do them. Remeber how in arguments you say things that you can't take back. I don't even think he wants to take these back. First he said that us girls rely on men. Boy does he have a lot to learn. We don't need you around for anything. It's a want, not a necessity. I can take care of myself. I enjoy having him there. I do love him very much and really like sharing life with him. I'm not going to change who I am, and if he can't accept that then we really are at an impass.Well then he mentioned how gullible women are. If he thinks that I'm stupid enough to buy all that sweet talk and don't know what he's after; he's gullible. Naive yes, gullible or stupid, no. I got absolutely no sleep last night. The only thing I have right now is that I stood my ground. I could continue to rant right now, but I'd just be repeating myself. So for now I'm off. Pissed off, but off nonetheless.

Get a clue

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

WHATEVER
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!

One down

Love life is still going very well. BR had his birthday this weekend and he passed out so early Saturday night that I got a chance to bond with his best friend. Life can be a beautiful thing. :) Now I need to focus on this job. I'm beyond burnout. I'm tired of listening to me complain about it. I'm even more tired of dealing with this office and all it entails. I feel really bad about Dr, but I'm not far from insane right now. I don't even want optics anymore. I need something different. Here's what I want... I want a job just like my roommate A has. I want a boss I can have the same kind of relationship with that I have with Dr now. I want Monday thru Friday 8-5. I want benefits that include health, vision, dental, paid sick, vacation, and holidays. Last but certainly not least I want more money. I know don't we all, but I'm worth way more than he is paying me now. So there it is Angels. You found me BR. I am turning this over to you. It is in your hands now.

How to tell if she's into you

I promised a very good friend of mine that I'd write this over a week ago. Things come up, I've been sick, you know shit happens. Here it is though.

I have to laugh at you guys most of the time because you haven't a clue. BR and I went and played pool Tuesday night and there was this one girl that was drunk. You should have seen the attention she got. Granted she was also very good looking, but she wasn't going home with one of the guys that was with her. No offense but she was way out of their league. All she wanted that night was to get drunk with some friends that she could depend on getting her home. Here's how you know... First off those guys never had her complete attention. When we want something there is nothing that will distract us. You get eye contact with a smile. If it happens more than once, for crying out loud walk over and say hi. Please no cheesy lines, just be yourself. Next is the body language. If we move closer then so should you. You should notice that we're not looking around the room (for something better usually). We will be smiling a lot at this point. Probably touching your arm, back, or leg. This other girl from Tuesday was holding one guys hand, but she was sitting as far away from him as she possibly could. It wasn't much of a hand hold because their fingers were barely holding together. It's all very simple really.

The long and the short of it comes down to paying attention. Most of us aren't gonna run over and jump in your lap. The art of flirting is a lot of fun when you have someone to play with. Be confidant, we still like the guy to make the first move. If you see a girl you like then just watch her for a minute. Be sure to pick up on more than what she looks like. Notice the group she's with, how many times has she looked your way, what is she drinking, who is she watching, is she bored, or having fun? With my exhusband it took his friend telling him "Dude, I think she likes you". We aren't that hard to understand. The signs are right in front of you most of the time. All you have to do is take the minute to step back and see them. Happy hunting! :)

Complete

Life isn't perfect, but it's damn good. I came in this morning to an email from Match. Two odd things about this 1) I cancelled everything about a month ago with them, and 2) my subscription officially expired 7/7/06. Yet here it was telling me to reply to one of the many profile views I had received. Whatever. I marked it as spam and moved on. The honeymoon phase is wearing off with BR and I. At this point it just feels really comfortable and right. We've hit our bumps and worked through them. It's still very early, but if it continues as it has then this could be it. At 23 he's more mature than 95% of the guys I've dated. Not being perfect, he is wonderful, and I love him so very much.

Those that forget

Are doomed to repeat. The line is a very fine one to walk. The trick is to not be cynical and jaded, but you must also not be stupid about it next time around. I used to always believe the best and sometimes a bit naively. Just ask B. He always lied to me and I bought it all. Now I find myself not believing anything. I've gone to the dark side :). Not really all that funny though. I hate the way my mind works now. It's untrusting, insecure, judgemental, cynical, jaded, pessimistic, and flat out bitchy. (Did I miss anything?) I want me back. I want to be able to take a complement without looking for the alterior motive. When BR is out late I want to be able to believe him and not over react when plans fall apart. I want that healthy balance of trust without naivity. I know I'm asking a lot, but it's only of me. I've made it this far. What's a couple more feet?

'Magine that

I've said before that my moods are either very high or very low. Seldom is there an in between. I was supposed to leave a post for a friend Monday and then I said I'd do it yesterday. Obviously nothing got written yesterday either. It'll happen I promise, but once again not today. Today I'm feeling like climbing in a hole for a while and just disappearing. I don't want to be anywhere right now. Unfortunately I have a lot of work to do, so work I shall and hopefully the day will be over soon.

Serenity Now!

You don't have to be in a group to know and understand these words.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

They were screaming at me this weekend. Saturday wasn't the greatest of days, but I know full well that I bring most things on myself. I am very good at turning nothing into something. The bitch of it is that I realize and know what I'm doing as I'm doing it, yet it still happens. It's very obvious that I still have a lot of trust issues. I just need a little patience while I work through this. I don't mean to be nasty, but when I feel hurt (I know, no excuse) I jump right on the defensive. (and it's not pretty) I don't do anything half way. When I get cranky, it's full blown. I'm not happy with anything that went down that night. My actions, my emotions, my realizations. The disappointment this morning is only with myself. I'm a better person than what came out Saturday. I said it was gonna hurt when I fell off that pedestal.

Hey, I promised a very good friend of mine that I would write about something for him today. It will be Wednesday instead. But a huge Thank You once again for talking me off my ledge Saturday night.